Its been a while. I kind of stopped blogging as only talking about myself via tournament reports got a little weird and I don’t really have the confidence believe I know what I’m talking about to write about much else. After posting a few tweets and getting a couple of comments I’ve been spurred on to restart. Which is slightly ironic as my hobby head is all over the place right now.
I’ve been struggling a but recently for a number of reasons. This could get messy so feel free to spin on.
I’ve been having a crisis of confidence lately, for a number of reasons. I’ve always been a fan of events, I went to many as a 40K player and now I go to Infinity events and some for X-Wing. I considered myself a good 40K player but as I never used net lists I was always happy with mid table placings. Infinity doesn’t have that balance issue so there is not that to hide behind when looking at my performance. When it comes to X-Wing I think I’ve done reasonably well but as I don’t have a great deal of flight time I’ve never broken into the top tier of players. Again I don’t have that to hide behind as Infinity is my main system and I spend a lot of time reading up or playing.
Now I’ve never been one to say winning is the main objective but I have to say being just outside the top spots so many times is starting to grate a little and something I need to correct if I want to put my money where my mouth is in being a good wargamer. Herein lies in issue as how seriously should we take our gaming? If you look at top placing players they definitely have a main system and sometimes only play one. It does seem to be that wargaming is becoming sports like in its dedication, but it is only our hobby. I guess it depends what you want out of it. After all there is a lot of time investment in list writing and practicing for tournaments why shouldn’t we aim for good results?
Now an Infinity specific problem. Time. Infinity has an issue of time in tournaments. The game can be very time dependant and cutting games short can have a dramatic effect. I don’t want to go into it here as it is a whole other topic but the crux is do I want to invest all this time into a system and continue to get time ganked at events?
I guess all this is about how seriously I want to take my gaming. It is supposed to be my fun time after all. I think wanting to win is a bit of a taboo though and why should it be? Some of us put a lot of time into the hobby so why shouldn’t we aim for good results? I think a desire to win shouldn’t be confused with being a dick as they are not necessarily the same thing. On a personal level I’ve got to look at whether the extra investment to crack the top tier of players will be worth it. On the one hand it is my hobby and not a job, thus I don’t want to take it that seriously. On the other is I already put a lot of effort in and although winning isn’t main objective being so close to top all the time is wearing me down a bit.
This all got sparked as I’ve started a D-Day on Twitter, which is SCTS in August. Originally this was the last chance to not get time ganked before I quit Infinity but now it’s mutated into not making mistakes as well. By mistakes I mean things you instantly knew were a mistake as opposed to figuring it out after the fact which is more a learning experience. Now I’m not really sure what D-Day means. I was originally going to talk about my progression there but that may have to be another post. I’ll see if anyone cares to read this first.